i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
