So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
