Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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