I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
