I got chris browned last night
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize