I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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