Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
