But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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