We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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