I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
