omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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