I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
