Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
