Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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