'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
