that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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