We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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