apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
