dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
