Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
