Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize