She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
