I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
