Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Farmville is her only friend.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
