Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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