We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
