I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
