I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I need moral support for this bender
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
