Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
