Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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