Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
