Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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