no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
