there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
