How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
