Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
