Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
we should paint friendship bongs
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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