I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
