I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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