If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
