Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
