i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize