So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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