Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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