i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
