so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
