We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I will die if light touches me.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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