Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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