Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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