just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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