Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I am available for nakedness
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
