Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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