Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Blood and glitter go together right?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
