Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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