im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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