everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize