Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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