We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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