Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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