we're blogging at a bar
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
