My room smells like vodka and shame
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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