He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
