i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
