How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize